The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Things I’ve Learned in Adulthood

I’ve only completed a very short tenure as an adult and I feel I have learned a decent amount. I want this to be focused on the list of things that stand out to me in regards to things I have learned as a way of sharing with you:

  1. People don’t always view being corrected as a learning opportunity–however they do tend to view it as a way for you to show you received a “better” education than they did.
  2. You can get too much sleep.
  3. If you are charming, no one will tend to notice how awful you are at doing your job or doing your school assignments.
  4. What also helps with number three is if you have a well-toned body that is “easy on the eyes”.
  5. People–no matter how old we get–will fall short in their willingness to communicate. They will pretend they never got a text, make endless excuses for why they can’t make a phone call, or why they can’t answer the phone. 
  6. People who flake even only occasionally cannot be counted on… they will disappoint you.
  7. Don’t hype up birthdays because when you do, they end up being disappointing.
  8. Cooking isn’t as complicated as it can seem.
  9. You reap what you sow (I know, you would think I would have learned this sooner, but honestly I never reaped anything that I would sow).
  10. An incredibly close guy friend is way more important to have than a throw away boyfriend. 
  11. Parents might want you to act like an adult but that doesn’t mean they are going to treat you like an adult. They will still sugar coat things, keep secrets from you to “protect you” and they will always–no matter how big you get–see you as a little child. 
  12. Later on down the road, you will be happy you took the time to study instead of going out to get drunk. I’m not saying do it always–because that’s no fun–but do it every now and then and your grades will improve. Higher grades mean a better chance at a great internship.
  13. Buy a bottle of champagne every now and then. You don’t need a reason to celebrate. It isn’t that expensive if you buy a cheap brand (my go to is Korbel). It will make you feel less like you are broke every now and then.
  14. Binge watch a show every now and then. And I mean truly binge watch. Stay in the same sweats for a weekend, eat on the couch/in bed, and don’t brush your hair. You will feel disgusting but you will also feel rejuvenated.
  15. Take the time to call your parents “just because”. It shouldn’t always be because you have a specific question or need something. You never know exactly how much time you have left so you should make the most of it.

I’ve learned more than fifteen things in the last four years, but these are some of the most important lessons I can take from my experience and share with you. Comment with some of the lessons you’ve learned in life below, share. 

 
-als  

Why It’s Important to Still Make Time For Friends

I work only 24 hours a week between Monday and Friday–Typically I am done by Thursday however. It isn’t many hours, except the majority of my friend circle’s prime socialization is Tuesday night: Mug night, Wednesday night: Buckets of fun, Thursday night: Ladies night. I wake up every day at 7:30 A.M. so I can get ready to drive to the next town over for work at 9 A.M. It’s not the ideal situation while enjoying my last summer as an undergrad student or my last semester as an undergrad student either… however, it’s 100% manageable and worth having a job I love. I’m even writing this at work right now! Just… don’t tell my boss that. But it’s important that I still get to socialize with them. I can’t help them close down the bars on Tuesday and Wednesday night, that is 100% sure… but I try to go to ladies night since I don’t work Friday mornings typically. Today is an anomaly
 
I promise you that by the time 10:30 comes around and it’s time for me to trek over to my friends building so we can go out… I’m beyond tired. All I really want to do deep down is crawl into bed, turn on Pandora, and read my book until I fall asleep. But I don’t, I go out. Sometimes, at least. Why? Because these girls, my sisters and my Panhel girls, they are the ones who will still be here for me years down the road. My office comrades are great but I don’t see them outside of the office and I am almost willing to put money on how 10 years down the road, we will no longer speak. To this day, I’ve been here for five months, and I’m not Facebook friends with a single one. But my friends from school, they are the ones who will either be in or attend my wedding, they are the ones I will stay up late on the front porch talking to on the phone when my husband is already in bed waiting for me to come to sleep, they are the ones who my kids will call “Auntie”. 
 
I’m busy, and I don’t always want to go out and getting crazy drunk, I don’t always want to even go to your apartment and sit and watch T.V. because I’m busy and want to enjoy my alone time in my bed or on my couch with my book. But I will always make time for those who I know will be around for the long haul. I will always answer the phone at crazy hours if someone important is calling me. I will always try and do the simply mundane tasks you want someone to come along for. I do this because I want you there when we both have the same hectic life. I want you there when we both retire. I want you there when one of us is no longer there. I make friends with the intentions of having friends for the rest of my life. I’m not sure why it’s becoming “cool” to blow off friends or lie to get out of stuff, but always make time for your friends. It’s important.
 
-als

Adult Angst

I haven’t been keeping up with this blog like I swore to myself I would, however, please, allow me to explain myself. I have been dealing with so many rage moments and lethargic behavior that I couldn’t bring myself to write a single word. It’s not that anything seriously bad has happened to make me outlandishly angry all the time–besides losing my AC for eight, yeah… eight, days in Southwest Florida summers. In my time of being an 20-something professional I have developed a list of pet peeves amongst those at the office and those who are not professionals in any way…

  1. If you are going to use special settings on the copy or scan setting, please press the “reset” button when you are finished. This is a common copy room courtesy that prevents someone else from accidentally using your settings.
  2. If your job is to answer phones, you probably shouldn’t spend over half the work day away from your desk.
  3. When going grocery shopping, always check the fridge and freezer space before you go so you know how much food you can actually buy and fit.
  4. Add on to number 3: if you come back and there isn’t enough room… do NOT… I repeat… DO NOT… stack items inside the ice box on top of ice cubes. This is not sanitary at all.
  5. When using other roommates pots and pans, if something burns into the bottom, actually take the time to scrub it. This might take a while, but it is not your pot or pan and you should not EVER cook with it again to continually re-burn it until it is almost impossible to clean.
  6. Drawing penises on things or photos is no longer funny. We are not pre-pubescent anymore. Grow up.
  7. Believe it or not, you being 21 does make you an adult and you need to accept that as an adult you shouldn’t be staying out until 3 am every night and sleeping in until noon every day.
  8. If you are just going to say “yeah” over and over again and not actually contribute to the conversation. Go home, you aren’t meant to be socializing with your lack of social skills.
  9. When your food explodes in the microwave–even more so if it is strongly scented food–clean the microwave after. Don’t leave it for your roommates to handle.
  10. When you spill food items such as dried rice on the ground or in the drip pans on the stove… pick them up. They are painful to step on and they make the stove smoke.

Basically, if my list could teach you anything, it is to not be an immature rude idiot.

-als

Maybe My Life IS Hectic and What the Frick is Communication?

I always say I’m going to start legitimately blogging but then something x, y, and/or z, comes up and makes it highly difficult to actually blog. I’ve been working at a law firm for over a month and between that and my personal life being on the rocks both at home and romantically speaking, I haven’t quite found the time or chance to actually sit down and think about my life. I’m already beyond midterms, like, how the HELL has that even happen?! I mean, I’ve managed to pull out on top with midterms, A’s and high B’s. I’m a bit mad about the B on my midterm paper for Asian Politics, not because my grade dropped below an A, because it didn’t, but because the reason I got a B was because I was pulled away from working on it by the Boy I was seeing who has done a 180 in the past two weeks of being clingy to now wanting almost nothing to do with me. Which is fine, whatever, I don’t really care. I just don’t understand why my generation has such a struggle with communication.

I understand we are the generation who grew up with AOL Instant Messenger, MySpace, Facebook, Cell Phones, etc. However, weren’t all of these communication forms intended to enhance our communication skills as opposed to hinder them to the point where we are completely inept with communication how we feel and what we want to another person. It seems as though a vast majority of my generation–the Millennials, Millennial Generation, or Generation Y if that’s your fancy–is completely incapable of communicating on any level beyond a surface small talk level of “sup” “dtf?” “ttyl” and so on.

We already know about how us Millennials have lost the art of letter writing, because why write a letter if we can just text you or tweet you in 160 characters or less? However, the reason we should go back to this lost art of letter writing is simple. We don’t actually communicate via any social network or text messaging.

The whole purpose behind this rant is self centered and hardly about my issues I hold against my fellow Millennials. The whole purpose behind me ranting is actually simply because I’m angry that a Boy I was seemingly getting close to, a Boy who had been opening up to me and I to him, a Boy who sleep trained me to be accustomed to sleeping in his bed by his side, cuts me off without explanation until I have to go into a drunken rage yelling at him over text (HashTag Generation Y Probz?) about how he is essentially, for a lack of better wording, an asshole. I eventually come to learn that he is “just not that into it anymore” no, that’s not it, that’s what he said first however he then changed to “it was all too much all the time. [he] need[s] it to go slower”. I’m sure I’m not the only one who could agree that if we were actually capable still of communicating our thoughts, I would have learned this two weeks prior to him ignoring me and blowing me off.

I don’t have a solution, I’m emptily ranting about the problems with my generation. I do know that there has to be some solution out there that can fix the epidemic of inadequate communication tactics that has taken over the Millennial Generation.

-als

Maturing? Is that even possible?

I’ve noticed more painfully this past week how out of touch I am even with who I was just a few short months ago. Last semester I was getting ticked off when I wasn’t invited out drinking with my friends, now here I am being thankful I’m not. Only getting ticked off that the guy I’m somewhat seeing keeps hinting at wanting me to come spend the night without actually asking me (Dude, just ask, believe me your queen sized bed is way more comfortable than my school provided full sized mattress). I find myself getting excited over the strangest things now as well. For example, I went shopping today with my friend J, and I was getting some work shirts that could either work out nicely for my current mundane retail job or for the law firm job I’m waiting to hear back from. Anyways, I walked past this pillow display (I was at Ross and we all know they literally sell everything at the best prices) when I saw these Tommy Hilfiger pillows that looked ultra fluffy and well… they were! Not to mention they were only $8 a piece so naturally I bought two pillows. Changing out my four years used pillows for these new ultra fluffy pillows was probably the most excited and fulfilling part of my day. I wish I was kidding. Really, I do. 

The only time I really don’t feel like I’m maturing more and more every day is how I still have to wear my retainer every night to bed (speaking of which, I should really go put that in now) and when I sleep over at Boy’s place I don’t bring it and panic the next morning in fear that my teeth have moved. I haven’t had braces for six years now and this is still a constant fear and concern for me. I mean my parents spent so much money on my teeth, why would I want them to revert back to the gap tooth wonder they used to be? Why am I even rambling about my teeth right now? Oh yeah, because it’s one in the morning and all that seems to matter is how I haven’t brushed my teeth or put my retainer in yet. Back on topic of this awkward out of no where maturity or whatever we want to label it.

I remember last year around this time I was visiting my cousin in D.C. and she and I were drinking some wine while we talked about how I go out and drink heavily multiple nights in a row. She mentioned how she can’t do that anymore (she’s 26 or 27) and how that is a part of growing older. I definitely didn’t believe her. Except here I am not even 22 yet and I totally get over drinking and just want to go to sleep after only two drinks. I see the snapchats of my friends getting blasted on a Monday night and I cringe. I’d much rather kick back with one or two beers watching something on TV with either my stuffed animal or Boy. It sounds way more appealing. How did I even become this person?

-als

In need of an adult that is better at adult-ing

I’m 21 years old and i still find myself saying all the time that I need to find an adult to help me with x, y, and z. You would think, by now, I would have fully grasped the concept that I, myself, am truly an adult. I’ve hit the final notable milestone of becoming an adult by being able to legally walk next door to target and pick myself up a bottle of cheap Barefoot wine to enjoy while I live it up each night watching Netflix as I read court cases. I’ve never been one for going out really. I’d much rather I stay in with my Netflix (I just got a Roku box, five out of five stars, highly recommend) account and do homework or scroll on tumblr for hours as opposed to going out on the “town” down here in SW Florida to get “wastey-pants”. I think I got it out of my system this past summer when i actually hit the big ol’ two-one.

How did I become this adult-esq figure for my own life? I mean, last time I checked I still call my dad to simply ask him if mixing hollandaise sauce with quinoa would taste good (it did!) and I text him almost every night to tell him that I love him and that I hope he has a good nights sleep. But yet here I am, sitting here, thinking about how much of an adult I’ve become. While most of my friends are still working their part-time jobs at restaurants and retail stores (I myself have a retail job) with no aspirations of leaving said jobs until post-grad… I’m sitting here mentally preparing myself for a job interview tomorrow morning with a law firm. A big-kid-real-adult job. Sure it’s just a copier/scanner position, but I’ll have to look presentable in office clothes every day. Something I don’t have to do at my lovely retail job.

Honestly though, why am I incapable of remembering I am an adult? I’m a senior in college with plans of continuing on to law school, I work, I have an adult dating life, and i’m focusing on obtaining a real world job. I am an adult… that sounds more like I’m trying to convince myself. Someone get me an adult to teach me how to be an adult.

-als