In this transition of being in my final semester of undergraduate studies and already working a part time nine to five job, I’ve learned a lot about the slump you can fall into. The questioning of if you even want to deal with working is constantly popping up in m head–as Chuck Palahniuk said, “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes. working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don’t need.” I hate my job. Actually I need to clarify, I don’t hate my actual job, I just hate working where I work 90% of the time. There are those handful of souls at my office that make me happy and make me feel supported… then there are the others who view me as their pack mule that doesn’t deserve any form of respect simply because I do not technically have a Bachelor’s Degree yet (ten weeks to go). However I do love the actual work I am doing. It’s fun, it’s what I’m interested in, and I’m constantly learning about the field I hope to pursue a career in.
- Do Be Yourself… it might seem like you need to “act” a certain way to try and get the sorority everyone “dreams” of on campus… but this will honestly only hurt yourself in the long run. Being someone other than yourself could very well get you a bid to the sorority you have your eyes on… but later on you will learn that your true self might not get along as well with them and you could drop and then lose your one shot at finding a true sisterhood that matches with you.
- Don’t Discount an Organization… Sorority XYZ might not be what you think is your top pick based on what you’ve heard around campus–but they could be the women you are meant to be sisters with. They could be the glass slipper that fits just perfectly. You are searching for your sisterhood, not for an easy social ladder to climb.
- Do Research the Organizations… It is important to know what to expect about all the organizations before going into recruitment. Go on websites like GreekRank.com and puruse social media. What people are saying about this organization you could choose will soon be what they are saying about you.
- Don’t Take the Research Fully to Heart… While websites like GreekRank.com could give great insight. It is crucial to not take it completely seriously. This is a gossip website essentially. And while you should know what people are saying, just because it is on the internet doesn’t mean it is true. Still keep and open mind about every organization. Let the sisters show you who they are.
- Do Remember to Look Presentable… This isn’t shallow judgement, but first impressions are everything and each time you walk into that room/house you are creating a new first impression. Make sure you remembered to do your hair, brushed your teeth, sit/stand up straight, and SMILE. Your smile is beautiful and smiling makes people want to be around you. Most importantly, when you look presentable you feel more confident and therefore you will most likely feel less nervous!
- Don’t Be Afraid… It’s easy and natural to be nervous… because you are going in to a room/house full of sometimes 200+ girls depending on the school size and campus norm. Relax! Yes, they are judging you, but remember: you are judging them too. They are nervous too. Believe me, I’ve been on the active member side. It is beyond nerve racking as we line the room and began to sing/chant as you Potential New Members walk in the room. We are hoping we look okay, don’t have anything in our teeth, don’t have smelly breath–hell, we even restrict our diets during recruitment to avoid those things! You are going through this WITH the sisters you are talking to. It’s just a conversation.
- Do Remeber You Can Drop Them… Every school does a slightly different elimination process, but remember, as said in number 6, you are judging them as well. You can drop a sorority if they didn’t give you a good feeling or don’t think you will fit in. Don’t keep a sorority around just because of their reputation. Organizations are dropping you, but you are dropping them as well.
- Don’t Worry… This seems like the same thing as “don’t be afraid” but it’s not. Don’t worry. Recruitment is only a few days long and in the end it is Bid Day. There is always a chance you could end up not receiving a bid or you only receive a bid for an organization you wanted. However, remember, you can turn down a bid if you don’t want the organization. If you don’t get a bid… there are typically hundreds of campus organizations even at smaller schools. Greek life is not for everyone and don’t be ashamed if it isn’t for you. You will end up finding your niche on campus throughout the next 3-5 years there.
You are embarking on a great journey. Recruitment will be a blast. You will make friends no matter what. Keep your mind open, your knees closed, and your smiles wide. Any girl can survive recruitment because it really isn’t as daunting as it might seem.
I’ve only completed a very short tenure as an adult and I feel I have learned a decent amount. I want this to be focused on the list of things that stand out to me in regards to things I have learned as a way of sharing with you:
- People don’t always view being corrected as a learning opportunity–however they do tend to view it as a way for you to show you received a “better” education than they did.
- You can get too much sleep.
- If you are charming, no one will tend to notice how awful you are at doing your job or doing your school assignments.
- What also helps with number three is if you have a well-toned body that is “easy on the eyes”.
- People–no matter how old we get–will fall short in their willingness to communicate. They will pretend they never got a text, make endless excuses for why they can’t make a phone call, or why they can’t answer the phone.
- People who flake even only occasionally cannot be counted on… they will disappoint you.
- Don’t hype up birthdays because when you do, they end up being disappointing.
- Cooking isn’t as complicated as it can seem.
- You reap what you sow (I know, you would think I would have learned this sooner, but honestly I never reaped anything that I would sow).
- An incredibly close guy friend is way more important to have than a throw away boyfriend.
- Parents might want you to act like an adult but that doesn’t mean they are going to treat you like an adult. They will still sugar coat things, keep secrets from you to “protect you” and they will always–no matter how big you get–see you as a little child.
- Later on down the road, you will be happy you took the time to study instead of going out to get drunk. I’m not saying do it always–because that’s no fun–but do it every now and then and your grades will improve. Higher grades mean a better chance at a great internship.
- Buy a bottle of champagne every now and then. You don’t need a reason to celebrate. It isn’t that expensive if you buy a cheap brand (my go to is Korbel). It will make you feel less like you are broke every now and then.
- Binge watch a show every now and then. And I mean truly binge watch. Stay in the same sweats for a weekend, eat on the couch/in bed, and don’t brush your hair. You will feel disgusting but you will also feel rejuvenated.
- Take the time to call your parents “just because”. It shouldn’t always be because you have a specific question or need something. You never know exactly how much time you have left so you should make the most of it.
I’ve learned more than fifteen things in the last four years, but these are some of the most important lessons I can take from my experience and share with you. Comment with some of the lessons you’ve learned in life below, share.
I haven’t been keeping up with this blog like I swore to myself I would, however, please, allow me to explain myself. I have been dealing with so many rage moments and lethargic behavior that I couldn’t bring myself to write a single word. It’s not that anything seriously bad has happened to make me outlandishly angry all the time–besides losing my AC for eight, yeah… eight, days in Southwest Florida summers. In my time of being an 20-something professional I have developed a list of pet peeves amongst those at the office and those who are not professionals in any way…
- If you are going to use special settings on the copy or scan setting, please press the “reset” button when you are finished. This is a common copy room courtesy that prevents someone else from accidentally using your settings.
- If your job is to answer phones, you probably shouldn’t spend over half the work day away from your desk.
- When going grocery shopping, always check the fridge and freezer space before you go so you know how much food you can actually buy and fit.
- Add on to number 3: if you come back and there isn’t enough room… do NOT… I repeat… DO NOT… stack items inside the ice box on top of ice cubes. This is not sanitary at all.
- When using other roommates pots and pans, if something burns into the bottom, actually take the time to scrub it. This might take a while, but it is not your pot or pan and you should not EVER cook with it again to continually re-burn it until it is almost impossible to clean.
- Drawing penises on things or photos is no longer funny. We are not pre-pubescent anymore. Grow up.
- Believe it or not, you being 21 does make you an adult and you need to accept that as an adult you shouldn’t be staying out until 3 am every night and sleeping in until noon every day.
- If you are just going to say “yeah” over and over again and not actually contribute to the conversation. Go home, you aren’t meant to be socializing with your lack of social skills.
- When your food explodes in the microwave–even more so if it is strongly scented food–clean the microwave after. Don’t leave it for your roommates to handle.
- When you spill food items such as dried rice on the ground or in the drip pans on the stove… pick them up. They are painful to step on and they make the stove smoke.
Basically, if my list could teach you anything, it is to not be an immature rude idiot.
I always say I’m going to start legitimately blogging but then something x, y, and/or z, comes up and makes it highly difficult to actually blog. I’ve been working at a law firm for over a month and between that and my personal life being on the rocks both at home and romantically speaking, I haven’t quite found the time or chance to actually sit down and think about my life. I’m already beyond midterms, like, how the HELL has that even happen?! I mean, I’ve managed to pull out on top with midterms, A’s and high B’s. I’m a bit mad about the B on my midterm paper for Asian Politics, not because my grade dropped below an A, because it didn’t, but because the reason I got a B was because I was pulled away from working on it by the Boy I was seeing who has done a 180 in the past two weeks of being clingy to now wanting almost nothing to do with me. Which is fine, whatever, I don’t really care. I just don’t understand why my generation has such a struggle with communication.
I understand we are the generation who grew up with AOL Instant Messenger, MySpace, Facebook, Cell Phones, etc. However, weren’t all of these communication forms intended to enhance our communication skills as opposed to hinder them to the point where we are completely inept with communication how we feel and what we want to another person. It seems as though a vast majority of my generation–the Millennials, Millennial Generation, or Generation Y if that’s your fancy–is completely incapable of communicating on any level beyond a surface small talk level of “sup” “dtf?” “ttyl” and so on.
We already know about how us Millennials have lost the art of letter writing, because why write a letter if we can just text you or tweet you in 160 characters or less? However, the reason we should go back to this lost art of letter writing is simple. We don’t actually communicate via any social network or text messaging.
The whole purpose behind this rant is self centered and hardly about my issues I hold against my fellow Millennials. The whole purpose behind me ranting is actually simply because I’m angry that a Boy I was seemingly getting close to, a Boy who had been opening up to me and I to him, a Boy who sleep trained me to be accustomed to sleeping in his bed by his side, cuts me off without explanation until I have to go into a drunken rage yelling at him over text (HashTag Generation Y Probz?) about how he is essentially, for a lack of better wording, an asshole. I eventually come to learn that he is “just not that into it anymore” no, that’s not it, that’s what he said first however he then changed to “it was all too much all the time. [he] need[s] it to go slower”. I’m sure I’m not the only one who could agree that if we were actually capable still of communicating our thoughts, I would have learned this two weeks prior to him ignoring me and blowing me off.
I don’t have a solution, I’m emptily ranting about the problems with my generation. I do know that there has to be some solution out there that can fix the epidemic of inadequate communication tactics that has taken over the Millennial Generation.
I’ve noticed more painfully this past week how out of touch I am even with who I was just a few short months ago. Last semester I was getting ticked off when I wasn’t invited out drinking with my friends, now here I am being thankful I’m not. Only getting ticked off that the guy I’m somewhat seeing keeps hinting at wanting me to come spend the night without actually asking me (Dude, just ask, believe me your queen sized bed is way more comfortable than my school provided full sized mattress). I find myself getting excited over the strangest things now as well. For example, I went shopping today with my friend J, and I was getting some work shirts that could either work out nicely for my current mundane retail job or for the law firm job I’m waiting to hear back from. Anyways, I walked past this pillow display (I was at Ross and we all know they literally sell everything at the best prices) when I saw these Tommy Hilfiger pillows that looked ultra fluffy and well… they were! Not to mention they were only $8 a piece so naturally I bought two pillows. Changing out my four years used pillows for these new ultra fluffy pillows was probably the most excited and fulfilling part of my day. I wish I was kidding. Really, I do.
The only time I really don’t feel like I’m maturing more and more every day is how I still have to wear my retainer every night to bed (speaking of which, I should really go put that in now) and when I sleep over at Boy’s place I don’t bring it and panic the next morning in fear that my teeth have moved. I haven’t had braces for six years now and this is still a constant fear and concern for me. I mean my parents spent so much money on my teeth, why would I want them to revert back to the gap tooth wonder they used to be? Why am I even rambling about my teeth right now? Oh yeah, because it’s one in the morning and all that seems to matter is how I haven’t brushed my teeth or put my retainer in yet. Back on topic of this awkward out of no where maturity or whatever we want to label it.
I remember last year around this time I was visiting my cousin in D.C. and she and I were drinking some wine while we talked about how I go out and drink heavily multiple nights in a row. She mentioned how she can’t do that anymore (she’s 26 or 27) and how that is a part of growing older. I definitely didn’t believe her. Except here I am not even 22 yet and I totally get over drinking and just want to go to sleep after only two drinks. I see the snapchats of my friends getting blasted on a Monday night and I cringe. I’d much rather kick back with one or two beers watching something on TV with either my stuffed animal or Boy. It sounds way more appealing. How did I even become this person?
I’m 21 years old and i still find myself saying all the time that I need to find an adult to help me with x, y, and z. You would think, by now, I would have fully grasped the concept that I, myself, am truly an adult. I’ve hit the final notable milestone of becoming an adult by being able to legally walk next door to target and pick myself up a bottle of cheap Barefoot wine to enjoy while I live it up each night watching Netflix as I read court cases. I’ve never been one for going out really. I’d much rather I stay in with my Netflix (I just got a Roku box, five out of five stars, highly recommend) account and do homework or scroll on tumblr for hours as opposed to going out on the “town” down here in SW Florida to get “wastey-pants”. I think I got it out of my system this past summer when i actually hit the big ol’ two-one.
How did I become this adult-esq figure for my own life? I mean, last time I checked I still call my dad to simply ask him if mixing hollandaise sauce with quinoa would taste good (it did!) and I text him almost every night to tell him that I love him and that I hope he has a good nights sleep. But yet here I am, sitting here, thinking about how much of an adult I’ve become. While most of my friends are still working their part-time jobs at restaurants and retail stores (I myself have a retail job) with no aspirations of leaving said jobs until post-grad… I’m sitting here mentally preparing myself for a job interview tomorrow morning with a law firm. A big-kid-real-adult job. Sure it’s just a copier/scanner position, but I’ll have to look presentable in office clothes every day. Something I don’t have to do at my lovely retail job.
Honestly though, why am I incapable of remembering I am an adult? I’m a senior in college with plans of continuing on to law school, I work, I have an adult dating life, and i’m focusing on obtaining a real world job. I am an adult… that sounds more like I’m trying to convince myself. Someone get me an adult to teach me how to be an adult.